How to Save Your Marriage When You Feel Hopeless? It’s never easy to admit that your marriage might be in trouble, especially if you’ve had your doubts before and tried to ignore them.
But when those nagging feelings don’t go away and the problems that you do have with your spouse start to feel insurmountable, it’s time to face the facts: Your marriage might not be as strong as you thought it was.
While some people might tell you that it’s not worth trying anymore, we don’t believe that—if you want to save your marriage, there are things you can do to try!
Don’t Give Up: How to Save Your Marriage When You Feel Hopeless?
Related: Bonding Activities for Couples To Improve Marriage
1. Find out what’s wrong with your marriage
Every couple argues. What separates healthy couples from unhealthy ones is that healthy couples learn how to resolve their conflicts productively—and learn when it’s time to call it quits.
It’s hard not to blame yourself or your partner when things are bad. Sometimes, it just feels easier not to do anything at all. However, hoping and wishing won’t fix anything; taking action will. The first step is figuring out what’s wrong with your marriage and what needs to change.
If you have no idea where to start, try asking each other questions about yourselves, your values, and what each of you wants out of life. This may sound scary but remember: The goal isn’t an immediate fix—it’s figuring out where there might be some wiggle room for compromise down the road.
After all, as long as both partners are committed to working on it together (which they should be), every marriage has potential for growth and improvement.
2. Even if you are feeling lonely, suggest a joint activity with your partner rather than discussing your situation
There is research suggesting that talking about your problems can actually intensify negative emotions and lead to more difficulties in a relationship.
If you are dealing with an issue, try shifting your focus away from it and towards something more positive, like a shared activity.
Do something together–even if it’s just taking a walk around your neighborhood–that will remind you of what made you love each other in the first place.
Even if it’s just for 20 minutes, take some time out of each day to enjoy being together without needing to resolve any issues or problems—and before long, your perspective may change as well.
Let go of grudges and focus on positive memories instead.: The act of forgiving someone is not always easy, but studies have shown that holding onto negative feelings can actually harm your health more than forgiving does.
It can be difficult to do so when things are rough between you and your partner but try shifting focus from bad memories towards good ones instead. Focus on all that has brought you two together and all that has kept you going despite everything else.
Spend time remembering all those special moments with each other–the laughter, conversations and happy times spent doing fun activities with one another.
3. Give your partner time
Time is essential in any relationship, especially when things seem hopeless.
Give your partner time and don’t put pressure on him if he isn’t in a position to work on your marriage right now.
Everyone handles personal issues in their own way, so if your partner is having difficulty dealing with what has happened in your marriage, give him time and space.
Be patient, as the road back from heartbreak is not easy or quick.
There will be signs that your spouse is ready for a reconciliation, but there will also be times when nothing seems to be happening; try not to rush things and instead continue to be supportive of each other as friends.
4. Take care of yourself
If you’re in a bad place, it’s important to take care of yourself so that you have time and energy for your relationship.
This can mean anything from getting some sleep and eating well, to scheduling fun activities (even if they feel extravagant).
It can also mean taking a break from things that feel difficult or overwhelming. For many people, part of saving their marriage is knowing when they need help or even just a little space. So be kind to yourself!
5. Evaluate Why Your Marriage Is Important
Divorce can be devastating, so it’s important that you keep your priorities straight.
Take a moment to think about what makes your marriage worth fighting for. Is it children or financial stability? Is it an actual desire to make things work? If you’re not sure why you want your marriage, take some time for introspection and give yourself a chance to figure out how much love and happiness being married brings into your life.
The more positive thoughts you have about staying married, even if you don’t believe in that commitment anymore, will help guide you in making positive decisions that could save your marriage.
6. Seek Professional Help
If your spouse has already filed for divorce, it may seem like you’ve already lost. However, don’t give up hope! Seeking counseling with a trained professional can help to bridge gaps between spouses and make your marriage feel more like a partnership again.
A therapist can facilitate an open conversation about how and why things went wrong and work together with both partners in finding a way forward that makes sense for everyone involved.
There are many types of therapy, so it’s important to find one that fits your needs.
Couples counseling is often very effective, as it helps couples learn how to effectively communicate with each other again.
A professional counselor will guide you through exercises designed to help you understand what has led up to your marriage falling apart and get you on track towards healing and reconciliation.
Remember, there is always hope! Don’t give up on your marriage just yet! Seek out professional help if needed, as it could be just what you need to save your marriage!
How to Save Your Marriage When You Feel Hopeless (More Advice)
7. Don’t make judgments on your spouse; instead, learn to forgive.
One of our biggest mistakes is making judgments on our spouse. The moment we do, it becomes easier to blame him or her for all of our unhappiness.
No matter how horrible your husband or wife acts, always try to see his or her good qualities.
Even if your spouse doesn’t seem like he or she has any redeeming features, make a list of things you love about him/her.
In order to stay away from overly emotional words, try substituting hate with a more passive-sounding word, such as dislike or mistrust.
8. Have Patience With Each Other
Marriage can feel like a partnership that’s falling apart when you don’t talk through your issues with one another. Spend some time together every day. Even if it’s just for ten minutes, it will make a difference in your relationship.
In those quiet moments, hold each other and offer comfort without criticizing or judging. If you can do that on a daily basis, you will have taken an important step toward saving your marriage.
9. Re-think your relationship vision, mission, and goals
Before giving up on your marriage, take some time to really consider why you got married in the first place.
Think about what your original vision for your relationship was, what your mission and goals were at that time, and whether those things have changed since you’ve gotten married.
Take a look at all of these elements together—because it’s possible that when you get down to it, even if there are things about your relationship that are problematic now, maybe they’re not things that can’t be worked through and improved upon with a little work. So don’t give up—instead re-think!
10. Accept each other as you are now
The first step to making your marriage stronger is learning how to accept each other as you are now. Even if you feel that he or she is no longer the one for you, it’s important not to dwell on it or compare your partner negatively with a previous spouse.
Instead, focus on what your mate does have to offer and also acknowledge their faults as well (without getting defensive about them).
Don’t nag, give in or let him/her walk all over you. Remind yourself why you fell in love in the first place, and find those reasons again.
11. Be patient, don’t give up
The worst thing you can do when your marriage is on the rocks is given up, but it’s a common response. After all, divorce means accepting that things are probably never going to be as good as they were in your early days together.
Unfortunately, there’s no magic recipe for saving a marriage. However, there are things you can do that can make a difference, like being patient and being willing to compromise with your spouse. Patience is crucial when trying to save a relationship.
Many couples who have gone through rough patches say they couldn’t have saved their marriages without first working on themselves and learning how to communicate better. If you feel hopeless about your marriage, consider getting counseling or talking to someone else about what you’re going through. Even if it doesn’t fix everything right away, it will give you some perspective on what’s happening in your relationship.
12. Learn how to communicate better
How to Save Your Marriage When You Feel Hopeless, Communication is key in any relationship, but it’s especially important in a marriage. If you and your spouse aren’t communicating well, it can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and problems that may seem unsolvable.
There are many reasons why couples stop communicating effectively with each other. In some cases, it may be a matter of poor communication skills or an inability to express feelings. Other times, one partner may feel as if their needs aren’t being met or they don’t have an equal voice in decision-making.
Whatever the reason for communication breakdowns, there are ways you can get things back on track and save your marriage when you feel hopeless about its future.
13. Take a short break
If you and your spouse have been fighting for a while, one of you should probably take a little break from each other—not forever, but just for a few days. Both of you need some time to decompress and calm down before coming back together and trying again.
Make sure neither of you goes home questioning whether it’s even worth trying; if it helps, meet up for coffee or lunch (or even just drive by each other in your cars) as a sign that at least one of you is ready to start working on things.
In most cases, an amicable separation can aid in the rekindling of feelings of love and affection. Furthermore, a brief separation allows both parties to gain perspective on what they want from their marriage. When things get tough, it’s tempting to give up, but sometimes putting in a little extra effort can make all the difference in keeping your relationship alive.
After a short break, travel together
We’re not suggesting you force yourselves into some kind of forced bonding event. That’s not romantic! However, a road trip could be a great way to rekindle your romance. Why? It forces you out of your normal routine and helps you focus on each other as opposed to work or kids.
How to save your marriage when you feel hopeless? Many couples agree that a long weekend away is just what they need every couple of months—you don’t have to go far, and you don’t have to stay in fancy hotels or eat out every night. A cheap overnight trip can be very romantic; don’t underestimate how much fun an extra-long drive can be!
And while it’s best to travel when you can get away, sometimes a spontaneous road trip or weekend at a local bed and breakfast can be just as romantic. Most important, though, is picking a trip that interests both of you; you’re not going on vacation together if your partner doesn’t enjoy it too!
The details don’t matter—just getting away together for some time will help rekindle your romance. The relaxation, peacefulness, and quiet time out of your busy lives can go a long way toward sparking romance. And who knows? Maybe your efforts will bear fruit sooner than you think!
In Conclusion: How to Save Your Marriage When You Feel Hopeless
It’s OK if you feel hopeless. Many people do. And many people also get back on track and save their marriages. The way you move forward from here is up to you; there are many possibilities, and no one can tell you what you should do.
But there is one thing we know for sure: Keep your chin up, stay positive, listen to others but most importantly listen to yourself, learn from your mistakes, be open-minded and most of all keep in mind that it does get better – no matter how bad it seems right now.
Now that you’ve finished reading, reflect on what you’ve learned. Think about what works for you and what doesn’t. If you know other people who are dealing with a marital crisis, share these tips with them! And if you have any questions or thoughts, please feel free to leave a comment below. We love hearing from our readers!