He Doesn’t Know What He Wants : Here’s What It Might Mean

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he doesn't know what he wants

He doesn’t know what he wants, He’s not ready for a relationship, but he acts as if he likes me. How do you deal with this situation? Should you give him time to come around, or is he really telling you something else?

It’s great that you feel the same way if you’re not ready for a relationship, but it’s very annoying if you want him to commit.

This blog post will clarify what he means when he says he doesn’t know what he wants and what to do in that situation, you will have also all signs a guy doesn’t know what he wants.

Let’s drive in :

Table of Contents

He Doesn’t Know What He Wants

Anyone who has tried to date in the 21st century has likely heard the phrase he doesn’t know what he wants to describe their current situation. It may be said by you, it may be said by him, but everyone in your circle seems to agree that this is an accurate assessment of the state of your relationship.

He says he doesn’t know what he wants, Here are 10 things It Might Mean

1) he doesn’t know what he wants because You don’t make him feel wanted

When he says he doesn’t know what he wants, it might mean that you don’t make him feel wanted. Maybe he feels like you’re not interested in him anymore.

Maybe you’re always busy, and he feels like he’s not a priority. Whatever the reason, if you want to keep him around, you need to show him that he’s wanted. You can do this by spending time with him, showing interest in his life, and being affectionate.

2) He doesn’t trust you with his feelings

He doesn’t know what he wants because he doesn’t trust you with his feelings.
 When he says he doesn’t know what he wants, it’s possible that he’s not sure about the relationship. It could mean that the guy needs more time to think about it.

Guys might say this when they’re not sure if they want to commit or break up, but they don’t want to hurt your feelings. Your relationship will improve if you try not to push him into anything and give him space to figure out what he wants.

3) The relationship is new, and he wants to take it slow

He says he doesn’t know what he wants because the relationship is new, and he wants to take it slow. When a guy says he doesn’t know what he wants after 3 years of being together, it means his feelings for you have changed.

4) There is something else going on in his life

When he says he doesn’t know what he wants, it’s usually because something else is going on in his life.
Maybe he’s under a lot of stress at work, or he’s dealing with some personal issues.

If your boyfriend doesn’t know what he wants, and you see that he has been acting distant, and you can’t figure out why it could be that he’s just overwhelmed and needs some time to sort things out.

5) He wants to end the relationship but feels guilty because he likes you

When a guy says he doesn’t know what he wants after being with you for three years or more, it means his feelings for you have shifted.

You can look for signs that a guy doesn’t know what he wants, such as him not spending as much time with you as he used to or not initiating physical contact.

So, if your boyfriend of 3 years doesn’t know what he wants for a long time, you may need to move on.

My boyfriend of 3 years doesn’t know what he wants

6. He’s afraid of commitment

One possibility that your boyfriend doesn’t know what he wants could be that he’s afraid of commitment. This could be for a variety of reasons: he’s not over his ex, he’s afraid of commitment, etc. If this is the case, you need to have a conversation with him about what he wants and why he’s unsure.
 
If a boyfriend of 3 years doesn’t know what he wants and is not willing to talk about it, then you need to decide if you’re okay with waiting or if you want to move on.

7) His self-esteem isn’t where he wants it to be

He says he doesn’t know what he wants because he doesn’t know what he wants to do. Sometimes this is an indication that his self-esteem isn’t where he wants it to be and if you want to help him feel better about himself, one of the best ways is to compliment him on his good qualities and help build up his confidence by giving him support.

8) He wants more time before committing to a serious relationship

Sometimes he says he doesn’t know what he wants because he wants more time. If this is the case, you should be understanding and patient with him. Give him space to figure out what he needs or talk about his concerns with him when he feels ready to do so.

Let him know that you’re willing to wait as long as it takes for him to feel ready for a committed relationship, but don’t give up on waiting either! You might just be in this situation until one of you gives up and moves on, but you never know if there’s a chance for the two of you to work it out.

Don’t spend too much time worrying about why he doesn’t know what he wants, instead focus on how you can change your behavior to help him decide.

He says he doesn’t know what he wants

9) Something about you triggers his rejection response

When a guy doesn’t know what he wants, sometimes it’s because there is something about you that triggers his rejection response. He may not want to hurt your feelings or break up with you. So instead of saying I don’t know what I want, he says I’m not sure, let’s just be friends.

When your boyfriend of 3 years doesn’t know what he wants and tells you that you should just be friends only, think twice and carefully observe him.
You deserve better than someone who isn’t concerned enough about you to express their thoughts and feelings clearly.

10) He Wants to Keep His Options

Some men are unable to commit because they do not wish to give up their independence. They want the freedom to spend time with other women and do whatever they want without being monitored. It is a major decision to choose one girl to be with, which might be challenging for some people who want to play.

11) He is still in love with his ex-girlfriend/wife

This is a clear reason why he is unsure of what he wants. He’s most likely not dated anyone since his breakup.

You don’t have to remind him of his mistakes in the past. Instead, concentrate on how great you are right now. If he is still fixated on his ex-girlfriend, he may have been so hurt that he will never trust another woman again.

12) He is a bisexual man

It is hard to say whether he is bisexual or homosexual. He doesn’t know what he wants, he is trying to understand what he wants.

Either way, he is confused about his sexual orientation. There is nothing wrong with being bisexual. However, if he is confused about his sexuality, then there must be more going on than meets the eye. He might be having problems with intimacy, which is another reason why he is not ready for a serious relationship.

13) He is addicted to drugs/alcohol

He has a problem with drugs or alcohol. He may be using them to cope with an emotional situation. Or he may be using them to escape reality. Either way, he cannot handle relationships at this point.

What to do :

Give him time to heal and get better before rushing him into a relationship with you.

14) He is mentally ill

He has been diagnosed with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, etc. These disorders affect how he thinks and behaves. They also affect how he feels about himself and others.

What to do :

Give him time to heal and get better before rushing him into a relationship with you.

15) You are not the right girlfriend for him

Even if you could see you were having fun together; he just wanted a woman to have fun with, not to be in a serious relationship with. So He wants to use you or play with you: “So you were only good for a good time, not a relationship.”

What You Should Do: If he continues to act in this manner, you may want to consider ending your relationship. So, just concentrate on yourself and your objectives. Don’t be concerned about him.

You can tell him that he needs to decide what kind of relationship he wants between you. If he says he doesn’t know what kind of relationship he wants, ask him what kind of relationship he wants. If he says he just wants to hang out with you, you should let him go.

Signs a guy doesn’t know what he wants

Here are 54 Signs to check

If he’s just saying those things to play mind games with you, here are some signs a guy doesn’t know what he wants :

1) He makes it clear that he thinks of you as a friend and nothing more.

2) He uses words like “just friends” when talking about your relationship.

3) He avoids talking about his feelings, 4) He tries to avoid getting too close to you.

5) He doesn’t seem interested in spending time with you.

6) He lies about how much time he spends with other girls.

7) He talks about someone else constantly when you’re together.

8) He always seems to have new girlfriends on the go.

9) He never calls you by name.

10) He tells you that he can only see you once every two weeks.

Other Signs :

11) His phone number changes frequently.

12) He gets jealous easily.

13) He accuses you of doing things behind his back.

14) He doesn’t let you get too close to him.

15) He keeps secrets from you.

16) He avoids commitment.

17) He doesn’t seem happy to be with you.

18) He avoids having an intimate conversation with you.

19) He avoids being alone with you for many days.

20) He makes excuses to stay away from you.

21) He avoids talking about anything important.

22) He is not honest with you.

23) He treats you differently than he did before.

24) He takes advantage of you.

25) He shows up late or doesn’t show up at all.

26) He won’t call you when he’s supposed to.

27) He doesn’t even ask you out.

28) He’s always looking for a better deal.

29) He’s trying to manipulate you into giving up something valuable to him.

30) He’s angry with you.

31) He gives you mixed signals.

32) He’s secretive.

33) He’s dishonest.

34) He’s jealous.

35) He’s moody.

36) He’s emotionally unavailable.

More Signs :

37) He’s rude, 38) He’s critical, 39) He’s controlling.

40) He’s needy, 41) He’s distant, 42) He’s unreliable.

43) He’s disrespectful, 44) He’s unkind, 45) He’s insensitive.

46) He’s irresponsible, 47) He’s immature, 48) He’s inconsiderate.

49) He’s selfish, 50) He’s arrogant, 51) He’s untrustworthy.

52) He doesn’t listen to you, 53) He’s unpredictable, 54) He’s inconsistent.

Do This When He Says He Doesn’t Know What He Wants

Don’t panic!

It’s normal for people to feel unsure about what they want in life. When he says he doesn’t know what he wants, The important thing is to not let this feeling of uncertainty stop you from taking action. So don’t panic

Stay positive

It can be easy to get caught up in negative thinking when he says he doesn’t know what he wants. But it’s important to stay positive and remember that this is just a phase. He will eventually figure it out and things will get back to normal.
In the meantime, try to be understanding and supportive. It’s also important to communicate your own needs and boundaries during this time.

Listen to his needs

It’s important to listen to what he’s saying and try to understand his needs. He may not be able to articulate what he wants, but by listening closely, you may be able to figure it out.

Try asking him questions about what he likes and doesn’t like, and pay attention to his body language. If he’s unsure about something, offer a few options and let him choose. (check also signs a guy doesn’t know what he wants )

Respect his decision, even if you don’t agree with it

It can be really frustrating when you want something and your partner says he doesn’t know what he wants. But it’s important to respect his decision – even if you don’t agree with it.

Offer an alternate suggestion

If your guy says he doesn’t know what he wants, it can be frustrating. But instead of getting angry or giving up, try suggesting something else.

Move on

You’re better off without someone who can’t make up his mind. If he says he doesn’t know what he wants, it’s time to move on. Find someone who knows what he wants and who is ready to commit. Otherwise, you’ll just be wasting your time.

In Conclusion

When a man says he doesn’t know what he wants, he may be serious. Give him time to think about what he is saying and try to figure out if he is serious.

If he is, move on, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Other Blog Posts for You:

How to Know If the Man Loves Me?

How to Make Him Chase You Forever

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