Signs He Pretends to Love You (He’s Playing With You)

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signs he pretends to love you

10+ Sure signs he pretends to love you

What are the Signs he pretends to love? Is your man pretending to love you? Is he faking it?

It can be very hard to tell if the person you’re dating really cares about you, or if they are just putting on an act to win your affection and get what they want out of the relationship.

Signs he pretends to love you will help you better understand how to tell if someone truly loves you or not. If your partner exhibits any of these characteristics, it may be time to reevaluate how things are going in your relationship.

Related: Signs He’s Not Interested After First Date

Never Chase a Man if He’s Pulling Away

1) he doesn’t feel close enough

It’s difficult to figure out if he actually loves you when he doesn’t confide in you. In order for a relationship to work, each partner needs to feel like they can share anything with one another.

If your guy has trouble opening up, then he might not be that into you. Instead of looking for ways in which he shows his love, focus on figuring out why he doesn’t trust you enough to let down his guard and get close.

It’s not unusual for new couples to feel a little awkward around each other at first. That’s why it’s important for you both to spend some time getting used to being with one another and learning how your partner communicates.

However, if he still doesn’t feel close enough even after you’ve been together for a while, he might not be that into you. It could be that he is afraid of losing his individuality and doesn’t trust you enough or believe in love. That’s among the signs he pretends to love you

2) you don’t talk about your future together

Here are some questions you should ask when you’re in a relationship:

  • Where do you see us five years from now?
  • And Where do you see us living in three years?

If he dodges these questions or has no interest in thinking about them, that should be your first red flag, sure, consider this as an indication that he pretends to love you. ( signs he pretends to love you)

As a couple, talk about your long-term plans (even if they don’t involve getting married), and have realistic expectations for your future together.

If he’s just not that into you and isn’t willing to put in any effort into making things work between you two, move on.Don’t waste another second trying to make him fall in love with you when it will never happen

In fact, planning is beneficial—so much so that it’s a good idea to ensure that both of your goals are aligned. If he doesn’t plan anything with you, that’s one of the Signs He’s Pretending to Love You.

He doesn't love you

3) he is not happy with the way things are going between you

If you feel like he is putting on a façade and pretending like everything is OK just so that he doesn’t hurt your feelings, he may not be in love with you anymore. That is also among those signs he pretends to love you

At some point or another, every relationship hits a rough patch and one person may start to lose interest in his partner. A man who loves you will stick by your side even when things get tough.

If he’s constantly saying that everything is fine and refuses to communicate his feelings with you, he might be starting to lose interest in you or trying to find ways out of your relationship without hurting your feelings.

4) sex life isn’t great anymore

Sex is an intimate experience that can bring you closer together, especially if your partner’s giving you one of these common sexual complaints. (These should be a red flag that he’s not really in love with you.)
If your sex life isn’t great anymore, then it might be time to reevaluate whether he even loves you. Sure, some things get boring after a while. But there are some serious red flags when it comes to a lack of interest in sex with your partner.

For example, does he always have an excuse for why he doesn’t want to have sex with you? Does everything seem like too much work? How many times has he refused because of work, or said something came up out of nowhere, and could we do it later?

5) he always wants to see other people

If he’s spending a lot of time with other women and trying to cheat on you, it’s possible that he’s pretending to love you so that you won’t leave him.

Of course, if he has no trouble cheating on you with his ex-girlfriend, then maybe it’s just because he can’t help himself.

But either way, if you think your man might be seeing other people behind your back, trust your gut and confront him immediately.

If he tries playing dumb or doesn’t want to talk about it with you, then you may have a good reason for concern. This could be one of those times when his actions say louder than words.

6) He does not want children with you | He intends to have children with someone else

It’s never too early to think about your goals and dreams, especially when it comes to having a family. And if you know in your heart that you’re not interested in being a parent, but are going along with what others want out of fear of upsetting them or losing their love, it’s time to pull back and figure out where your heart really is.

If he isn’t ready for children now, chances are he never will be. Is that something you can live with? Because playing along until he makes up his mind might cost you both far more than just some years of bad sex.

7) He claims to want more freedom.

As in, more freedom for him. This is a classic telltale sign of a man who pretends to love you but actually doesn’t.

Because he has a pattern of wanting ‘more space,’ take it at face value and don’t look for deeper meanings, explains life coach Lee Baucom, Ph.D., author of The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in Work & Life.

If he’s asking for more freedom because he genuinely wants to feel less tied down or busy, then that’s great; if not, be wary and set some boundaries around his requests

He may also try to manipulate your feelings by telling you how much he loves being needed by you, but ask yourself: Is that true? Does he really need me? Or is it just convenient at times?

8) He thinks you’re lonely and depressed, despite your efforts to move your relationship forward.

Don’t mistake pity for love. If you can’t seem to get a guy out of your life even after asking him to leave, it might be because he feels sorry for you.


If he constantly tells you that there’s something wrong with you, or if he says things like it must suck being single, consider his words carefully before interpreting them as a genuine interest in your well-being.


When a man loves a woman, he helps her feel better about herself instead of telling her she needs fixing. Also, worth noting: If your boyfriend stays in your life even after breaking up with you multiple times, it may mean that he only wants to remain friends so that he can use your loneliness against you as an excuse not to move on with his own life.

9) When something goes wrong, it’s your fault

Has he ever blamed you for something that went wrong in his life? If so, that’s a major red flag. A real man will take responsibility for his actions and apologize if he screws up.

If your boyfriend never accepts blame, you should question how much he actually cares about you and if it’s possible for him to change.

All relationships have struggles, but if your boyfriend always blames you when things go wrong, he isn’t willing to fix them or even discuss what happened. He simply blames you and walks away until a fight escalates into a breakup.

Bringing up exes
It’s hard enough being in a relationship, but when you get into one with someone who’s emotionally unavailable, it makes everything harder.


If your guy doesn’t have much of a support system or is keeping you at an emotional distance for some reason, bring up his ex-girlfriends.

Maybe he has trust issues and would rather end things with you than try to figure out what went wrong so that he can work on it in his next relationship.

Or maybe he had issues at home and wants to avoid anything that reminds him of that—and having a girlfriend brings up memories of past heartbreak. Talk about how healthy relationships work—and how they include opening up and sharing your feelings.

10) He is too busy for your hobbies and friends (Signs He’s Pretending to Love You)

If you want your man to be supportive of your hobbies and friends, he needs to make time for them in his schedule. If he doesn’t want to spend any time with you AND doesn’t want you hanging out with other people, ask yourself why. It’s likely because he’s not interested in a relationship and just wants someone on his arm for show.

If you’re worried that he’s just stringing you along or isn’t interested in spending time with you, start keeping a diary of all your dates. Every date should include some sort of activity that both of you enjoy; if they don’t, write down why they didn’t and see if there’s a pattern or reason for his lack of interest.

More signs he pretends to love you

What are the terrible signs he’s pretending to love you

11. No physical contact

There’s no question about it; physical contact is a key part of any romantic relationship. When you’re having one-on-one time with your partner, whether it’s an intimate dinner or just a stroll around town, make sure that you’re touching in some way.

Hold hands, wrap your arms around each other, rest your head on their shoulder—it all counts! But if you notice that they don’t want to be close when they’re out with you or even at home, take note. This is one of those if only he would do _ signs that can help tell you what type of guy he really is.

12. He ignores your calls and text

A man who cares about you will always answer your calls and text. He might be busy with work or other things, but he’ll make time for you, especially if he wants something from you.

If your phone is constantly going straight to voicemail after a brief texting exchange, and if he never wants to meet up with you, then it’s safe to say that he isn’t interested in being around you; he just wants something from you.

Try hanging out with him once more and see what happens; if his phone still goes straight to voicemail after another call or two, then just walk away knowing that there are plenty of men out there who are looking for relationships instead of shortcuts.

13. He changes your plans at the last minutes

Men who don’t love you will change your plans. If he truly cared about you, he would have agreed on a date and time that works for both of you, rather than canceling at the last minute because something came up.

Don’t tolerate last-minute cancellations, especially when it happens more than once. This is just one of many signs He’s Pretending to Love You

14. Getting defensive

When someone gets defensive with you, it shows that they do not respect you or your feelings. A common tactic of emotional abusers is to make everything their partner does or says into a personal attack.

It’s important to understand that when someone is getting defensive, they aren’t listening because they believe what they are doing is 100% right and there is no room for another point of view.

People who go on and on about how much love and respect they have for others usually have none for anyone else.

If you think that your man might be being disrespectful towards others but showing it differently to you, pay attention to how he treats everyone else around him as well as how he reacts when others talk about him.

Signs he pretends to love you, don’t lie and reveal his true feelings for you

15. He doesn’t want to try new things with you

If he likes doing something, he will always want to do it again. If he seems resistant when you suggest something new for you two to do together, or if his initial excitement about a new activity is short-lived and replaced by excuses, then you have evidence that he’s pretending to love you.

When someone truly loves another person, they are excited about making that person happy. They’re willing to step outside their comfort zone in order for both people involved in a relationship to enjoy new activities together.


So pay attention when his excitement dwindles after an idea has been suggested; instead of being open and genuinely interested in what interests you as a couple, your partner might be saying no because deep down inside, he’s not into it.

16. He doesn’t support you

If he really loves you, you should be his number one priority. Yet if he’s showing any of these signs, it means that somewhere along the line he decided that your relationship isn’t his top priority and there’s nothing more you can do.

Best case scenario: you’re a distraction from something else. The worst case is that he’s already found what he needs elsewhere and all of his sweet words are just an attempt to hold onto you until things get even better with another person.

Don’t fall for it! If someone doesn’t make time for your relationship, they don’t love you—and there’s nothing to pretend about it.

Instead of trying to convince yourself otherwise, start looking for someone who will appreciate your value as a partner and support your goals.

17. He is emotionally unavailable

A guy who’s constantly busy or always canceling on you without providing an excuse is basically saying I don’t want to see you. If he does make plans with you, he doesn’t show up. If he does show up, he cancels or flakes. You’ll be left feeling confused about what happened, and wondering if it’s you.

Remember: It’s not you! His behavior says that he just doesn’t have time for a relationship right now—but at least he can pretend like his excuses are legit by breaking plans instead of just blowing off your calls.

If a guy wants to see you, then he will fit it into his schedule—regardless of what else is going on in his life.

He tells you a lot of lies

It’s important to recognize when someone is lying because it means you’re being manipulated or taken advantage of.

The best way to tell if a person is lying is by observing their body language and listening for certain verbal cues. Listen for them pausing before answering a question, as well as taking extra time between words and phrases. Look for physical signs such as lack of eye contact or fidgeting with hands.

In Conclusion (Signs he pretends to love you)
If you want to know if a guy loves you, your best bet is to pay attention—really listen—to what he says.

If he’s consistently saying things that sound like love, or even saying I love you, but doesn’t do any of these things—or does some but doesn’t seem like his heart is in it—he might be faking it.
Remember: The best way for him to show you how much he cares about you is by being there when it counts.

So focus on how he behaves towards you in real life instead of judging by how many times a day he texts or calls and how often he professes his love on social media.


Frequently Asked Questions

How do you know if he’s genuine?

If you’re wondering if a guy really likes you, if he’s interested in you, or if he wants a relationship with you, then there are a few ways to know for sure.(Read more here Obvious Signs He Likes)

Of course, it will vary from person to person and situation to situation, but generally here are some good signs that he is genuine to you:

  • When he sees or meets you, he examines every inch of your body and face. He’ll make eye contact with everyone else in his vicinity (especially other women), but when it comes time for him to look directly at you after finally making his way over to your table, his gaze lingers on yours longer than any other.

  • His friends tell you about how much he likes you. A friend who isn’t trying to get in your pants will tell you about all of their friend’s positive qualities.

  • He calls and texts just to see what you’re doing and what’s going on in your life — not because he needs something or has something important to discuss with you specifically (i.e., not because he wants sex).

  • Another sign he is genuine to you He goes out of his way to do things for you
  • that guy is genuine to you if he does nice things for your family members and friends, too, as well as people around town that he knows you care about or have ties to.
  • The majority of his actions toward you show interest in getting closer rather than pushing away — i.e., being touchy-feely, complimenting/flirting with you, inviting himself along on outings with your group of friends etc…
  • Of course, He tells stories about past relationships where he was hurt by girls being fake or playing games…

How do you know a girl is pretending to like you?

I don't love him

There are some ways to tell when a girl is pretending to like you (the signs he pretends to love you are similar to those for girls).

While you may think you found “the one”, there are signs that she’s just playing with you and having a good time. If a girl isn’t into you anymore, or never was, then it’s pretty clear that she just doesn’t have any real feelings for you.  

But what about all those girls who aren’t sure about their own feelings? Here are some signs to look out for that will give away her intentions.

1.Doesn’t have time for you :

This can be a bit of a red flag because some girls like having space from their boyfriends, but if it goes on too long, it’s usually not a good sign.  

2. she only comes to see you when she needs something from you:

This is a classic sign that she’s not into you anymore, and will go out of her way to make sure that you know it.

The problem with girls who are pretending is that they’ll often use guilt trips or other emotional tactics in order to get what they want from you.  

3. She might not be interested in anything you have to offer:

It’s normal for a girl to ask you about your day, or even ask for your advice on things that are going on in her life.

If she’s not asking about things that have happened or will happen between you two, it’s a sign that she’s lost interest.

4. She only texts and calls you when she has something to ask you.  

5. That Girl doesn’t show any interest in your family or friends:

This is another sign that a girl is just not into you anymore, because if she was, she would try her best to make friends with your family and friends as well.  

6. She makes up excuses for why she can’t hang out with you:

This is one of those signs that girls use to avoid being caught doing something behind your back or spending time with someone else instead of you.

How do you know if you’re forcing love?

When someone pretends to love you, or you pretend to love him, you know you’re forcing love. (See above for signs he pretends to love you.)

When you start fights at inopportune times, argue over trivial matters, or call and text but never seem to be able to set up a face-to-face meeting

If you notice any of these things, it’s time for an intervention. If your partner feels compelled to love you instead of feeling natural affection for you because he or she is afraid of losing you, this is a sign of forcing love.

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